Resilience 101: Stop Striving and Surrender
/If you’ve ever experienced burnout or have felt like the only way to achieve success is through tireless work, then you are in good company. So many of us were raised with the message that we should strive for what is good, right, and harmonious, and while this is a noble cause, the means by which we arrive at our goal can either bring us peace or burn us out. When life gets challenging and we continue to push through difficult times trying to survive on our own accord, we will surely become tired.
If you intend to bring more good into the world while keeping your cup full, you must learn how to serve from a place of surrender instead of striving. This means allowing God to lead you instead of trying to figure things out and lead with your own strength and ambition. When you choose to surrender your will and accept God’s will and allow him to work in your life instead of trying to do the work alone, you are able to withstand trials with more endurance. You become more resilient.
Resilience isn’t mastery, it’s adaptability. You will never go through the exact same situation twice - there will always be a new plot twist that requires new or different use of your skills. With practice and the help of the Holy Spirit you can learn to surrender to the circumstances God has you in and experience peace instead of hanging on to fear or frustration.
How can we adapt well to life’s challenges?
Your capacity for resilience is directly related to your well-being. The means you must care for your well-being to find greater resilience and that greater resilience enables you to better care for your well-being. You can start by being intentional about caring for your God-given body and mind. If you intend to treat your body as a temple of the Holy Spirit, you are more likely to engage in healthy lifestyle practices. A part of prioritizing your well-being is caring for your soul by investing in your relationship with your Creator and being in fellowship with other believers that can support you and disciple you.
While you can do all the things to build up your well-being and prioritize healthy habits and relationships, you will never be without trials. Being well doesn’t mean your problems go away - rather you become better equipped to adapt and manage change as it arises. I believe God redeems us through our struggles if we let Him and leads us through opportunities where we can be transformed and sanctified through the Holy Spirit.
God isn’t interested in making you happy, he is interested in making you whole. Sometimes what we consider to be comfortable or good is not truly in our best interest. In order to build our resilience, we must prepare our minds for what could happen, be open to learning from life’s' trials and triggers, and respond with humility and a willingness to grow.
How resilient are you?
There are several viable wellness assessments that practitioners use to quantify our capacity for resilience. One is the Conner-Davidson Resilience Scale (CD-RISC) which looks at resilience as a function or sum of five interrelated parts including personal mastery, acceptance of change and secure relationships, strengthening effects of stress, control, and spiritual factors. Another great self-assessment is the Resilience Scale for Adults (RSA); this assessment helps individuals examine their intrapersonal and interpersonal influences that aid in our ability to adapt to adversity. This framework also looks as personal awareness and mastery, social competence, family dynamics, external social support, and personal attitudes and behaviors.
If you are feeling burnt out or are feeling frustrated in working toward your goals, partnering with wellness coach can help you assess your well-being and gain strategic guidance and support to help you practice self-care and feel better. Wanting to feel better doesn’t mean you are selfish, it means you want to invest in your ability to care for your temple and to serve and love others well. Loving others is so much easier when we pour from a full cup (especially when that cup is filled with the Holy Spirit).
What does resilience look like for followers of Christ?
We must learn to be resilient so that we can shine a light for others to see how Jesus is working in our lives. When we takes steps to build our resilience by surrendering more parts of ourselves to the Holy Spirit, we become a model of how to trust in God and find peace in the middle of challenging circumstances.
God calls us to follow the example of Christ which is to honor God through how we live our lives, how we love others, and how we serve his kingdom by stewarding our God-given gifts. If we are made in the image of God then surely he has gifted each one of us with the ability to make an impact in the relationships and circumstances surrounding us. When we stay connected to God by knowing his word and staying in prayer then are more capable of loving others through hard times and glorifying God through our actions.
When we commit each day to walking with the Lord we can experience greater peace and develop wisdom for how to care for ourselves and others in spite of stressful circumstances. It is through God’s strength, not our own that we can walk through the fire unscathed.
The first and most practical thing we can do to build our resilience is go to the Lord more frequently throughout the day, especially during times of stress. Invite the Holy Spirit into more moments and allow God to comfort, disciple, and strengthen you.