In our current culture, we are often encouraged to hold on to hurt in order to hold others accountable. Many of us wear our resentment and unforgiveness like a badge of honor and protection because it is all we know to do when we are hurting. It can feel good to put up a shield in hopes of preventing more harm in our relationships and while it is okay to set healthy boundaries, resentment and unforgiveness can stunt our ability to be in right relationship with others including God. Running from forgiveness can also inhibit our ability to live out our calling and experience the lavish blessings God has in store for us.

Matthew 6:14 -15 “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others for their transgressions, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.”

One thing we can be sure of is God is a God of clarity. His Word is clear in that forgiveness is highly valued in the kingdom of God. Jesus was able to forgive all his perpetrators as they were crucifying him. As Christians we are called to model Jesus’ love and long-suffering. Romans 12:14 “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” We can choose to love people in spite of their sin and stay committed to a lifestyle of forgiveness.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Matthew 5:33-34

Whether we are facing spiritual persecution or we are being treated poorly by a friend, spouse, employer, or government, we must seek God’s wisdom in order to know how to exercise a healthy boundary. The Holy Spirit can offer you discernment in when to flee and when to remain. Ultimately, your suffering will not be in vain but will glorify God.

In Proverbs 25:21 it says, “If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you.” The burning coals implies that your forgiveness, mercy, and unwavering kindness will cause your enemy to feel shame about their transgressions. The old saying, kill them with kindness really sums up this piece of scripture nicely.

Your righteousness will also be rewarded in eternity, even in the most extreme circumstances, as God promises, “Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.” Revelation 2:10

Another reward for modeling Christ’s forgiveness is the opportunity to bring others to the cross to receive salvation. Staying obedient to God in trying circumstances and praising him in the storm makes others curious for Christ. They see that the Lord indeed gives you strength and a peace that surpasses their understanding - this can be so attractive to someone who is living in the weakness and chaos of their sin.

In my own experience with forgiveness, the Lord has comforted me in the fact that he knows forgiveness isn’t easy. That is why he is so faithful to reward us for it! He sees our suffering and knows the difficult in showing love when all we feel is pain. Our God is a god of sorrows in that he is a witness to the pain of sin every moment, all around the world, since the beginning of the fall. Yet we can take heart knowing God has the whole world in his mighty hands and at the end of time, everyone will be judged by his righteousness.

We are not to excuse sin and look the other ways; however we can offer endless forgiveness (not 7 times but 77 as suggested in Matthew 18) while gently rebuking our Christian brothers and sisters in order to bring them closer to Christ. When we trust in the lord and through his word we come to know his sovereign reign and perfect justice, we can be at peace knowing he is working in the lives of others and that he deals with all transgression in all his perfect wisdom and in his perfect timing. It can be so hard to let go and let God but with practice it is so freeing.